It’s kids involved on both sides with lots of love
We have yet to end it but it’s like I’m holding on to his potential. I have never took as much bullshit in previous relationships that I have in my current. I get so upset with myself that I allow this behavior and disrespect. I’m ashamed of myself and don’t know how to let go it feel so hard. I don’t know what to do lately we cannot get alone or stay on the same page. It’s a unhealthy relationship it’s a roller coaster ride. Where can I get sincere help?
I am in the exact same situation. I am literally heart broken up other week. Crying and wanting to leave but then get weak and dont go any where. I need help. I used to be so strong.
Staying in a toxic relationship is a choice indeed
Dear Heaven, Are you still with him? You wrote words that reach my heart. I agree wholeheartedly that it is not the person but what dreams and hopes that the person represents for us. I too, broke up a few weeks ago because I was no longer capable of handling the violent outbursts that seemed to come unprovoked and were far more extreme than the preceding conversation. Heaven, I went into our spare room. I closed, not slammed, the door. I deleted all of our photographs from the last four years, I deleted all 6000 emails my sentimental heart had saved. Still, I did not cry, yell, or pick a fight or act out in any way. I just started preparing for a life without his presence. I began constructing my own safety net wherein he was not part of it. Later that night, he wanted me to come to bed with him. He wanted to have sex in a tender way. And yet, he would not address how he screamed at me. He pretended that it never happened, I simply could not bring myself to be with him physically even though I love him very much. I had committed to starting a life free of “reset buttons” and lack of accountability and recognition. I packed up the next day with zero drama or fanfare. He took me to the airport and said he loved me. That was two weeks ago. He has since, sent one email saying I want to talk to you. It’s important, and one wishing me Happy Holidays using our nicknames for each other. Within these two numb weeks, that is all I have heard from him. It is hard and grievous because he was who I truly thought would be my life’s partner. We were planning to cycle through Vietnam in a few weeks and live a quiet life of reasonable happiness sprinkled with splashes of exploration. But the unpredictable and inexplicable explosions of anger were metaphorical landmines that I could not live with. We all deserve to be able to love safely, generously and without punishment. Please feel free to respond because I feel you both understand the confusion of grief in accepting that our dreams of a life with the ones we wanted to love.
Great article. It’s extremely difficult to walk out of one, but you need to remind yourself that in the long run, it will be the best decision.
I broke up with mine 8 days ago and it’s killing me right now I’m trying to cope fetlife mobile after two years of toxic Ness on and off I’ve been abuse in every way possible and I’m a man ! I just can’t get her out of my head I know that she’s not good for me but the cheating and the lying I could not take it anymore, right now I’m sitting in my car just doesn’t want to go home to be alone so I’m reading until I’m tired then might be sleepy